Here’s a few things I’ve learned of myself, of Jesus, of the Gospel and of the call to care for the oppressed, marginalized and orphaned children in this world. It’s a scratch on the surface of the depths of what there is to know, but I’m grateful that in His mercy God grows us as He sends us – and He sustains us along the way as we pursue His mission.

My call to care for orphans is more about the help they need than it is about my need to help. I cannot use orphan care as the means by which I gain some personal sense of fulfillment, purpose or meaning. Only Jesus can provide that for me. The last thing orphans need is me using them to mask my own personal insecurities by burdening them with the expectation to satisfy my self-righteous need to help someone less fortunate than me. Orphan care then becomes an idol, and a service project – a work upon which my identity is based and my self-justifying needs are met.

These kids experience horrendous atrocities and injustices in a very short amount of time. They are not trophies for me to put on display so people know how obedient, radical and missional I am. The end goal of my obedience in caring for orphans is not my own obedience, but rather the orphans themselves. It’s about what is best for the child, not what is glamorous or daring or risky or evangelically sexy for me.

There’s an incredibly profound tension wrapped up in orphan care, fostering and adoption – the only reason you have a child in your care is because the biological parents have squandered their capacity and trustworthiness to be mom and dad. In moments of clarity, when I look at our foster baby, I’m burdened for her drug-addicted mother and incarcerated father. I’m reminded that this precious child has become a part of our lives because her parents are wrecking their own. I desperately want to keep this baby forever, while at the same time her mom and dad desperately need Jesus to fix their lives forever. I’ve had to learn how to grieve for the parents, how to pray for them and how to hope that Jesus would rescue them…even if, in the end, it means the baby girl we’ve grown to love goes back to live with them one day. I must be willing to pray and hope that mom and dad are able to provide a safe and loving home for their baby and that in the end, Jesus changes their lives and they win with Him, and she wins with them. Otherwise, I will continue to make this about me winning, even to the detriment of them.

If our sweet girl goes back home we will grieve the loss of a child we have grown to love, but will rejoice over the lives of a young mom and dad that are hopefully headed in the right direction. At the same time, if she stays with us forever we will rejoice over God’s precious gift, but I hope we grieve as well, over the lives of young parents that have yet to find a hope and a healing that can only come through Jesus.

It is impossible to hold a tragically neglected and abused child in your arms and not be profoundly moved by the weight of their story. In many regards, their few days or weeks or years of life have been filled with more sorrow, more pain and more betrayal than many of us will experience in a lifetime. It has to change your perspective. It has to shift you. Their brokenness has to break you. It has been a gracious act of mercy on the part of God to confront my shallowness with the depths of our foster baby’s reality. There are so many poor, oppressed, marginalized, abused and neglected children in the world…and I now have the privilege of rocking one to sleep at night in the comfort of our home, with clean clothes, a full stomach and a face full of kisses from my daughters who love her like a sister. It’s humbling.

For whatever change we will bring about in the life of a marginalized and orphaned kid, it will come back on us exponentially. Their brokenness exposes ours. Their need exposes ours. They need a home, a love and a hope from me in much the same way I need that from Jesus. As I hold her I’m reminded of how I am held by Him. Her reality exposes mine for what it is and infuses a vision into it for what it could and should be…if I would only let myself be a part of her story, so that her story can change mine.

It’s impossible to carry the weight and burden of orphans alone. We are incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by The Orphan Care Network – people from our church committed to abandoning themselves over to the task of eradicating the orphan crisis both domestically and globally. Whether it’s late night texts asking how things are going, lending us a car seat or some baby clothes, or sitting with us as we struggle through the deep emotional tensions of attaching ourselves to a child who may or may not stay with us forever, God gives us people who help hold up His heart in us through it all, even when we feel like we can’t hold on anymore.

We are forever bound to those who are in the fight with us. Through mutual experiences and a common understanding of what it’s like to care for orphans, the community around us has both fueled our drive towards the mission of God and sustained us along the way.

Fostering and adopting abused, neglected, marginalized and orphaned children is a big deal, but it expresses itself primarily through very small, very menial, very hidden tasks that go largely unnoticed. We are daily stopped by people and asked about our foster baby, and we count it a privilege to share with them God’s big heart for the fatherless, His big plan of fully adopting us through Jesus and our big commitment to do the same for orphans. But that’s not the end of the story. The rude realities of orphan care find themselves up for a 3am feeding, changing a diaper for what seems to be the 100^th time that day, on the phone with case-workers, lawyers, doctors and government departmental offices, filling out stacks of paperwork, sitting through court hearings and driving across the city for parent visits.

Yes, orphan care is a big deal, but its grandness is not measured by the public fame it produces but by the private faithfulness it requires…when no one is around to see, and no one cares. The only way we will make a big difference in this child’s life is if we do the small things she needs us to do for her with eagerness, willingness and joy – whether anyone is around to see it or not.

In the end, this little girl has taught me much about the Gospel – God’s radical, redeeming, consuming, healing, hope-giving love for me through Jesus. As I rock our sweet girl to sleep so too I’m held with great assurance in the arms of a Father who has brought me into His family and called me His own. He changed my name. Gave me a new identity. Granted me the rights and privileges of being His heir. Secured my future and changed the trajectory of my life forever. I was once an orphan, but now I’m showered in His kisses of grace, and nothing will be ever be the same.

~ Written by Jason Johnson of Woodlands Point Community Church ~

When we go to the doctor one of the things we dread most is all of the paperwork at the beginning…before we even get to see the doctor. You may not mind it, but I do. I find myself thinking about the quickest way to answer the questions and move on. I mean really…the reason I am at the doctor is because I am “near death” or a limb is hanging off and needs to be sewn back on, right? Is it really important to know everything about me AND the generations before me?

I recently had a conversation with my son talking about this. The whole part of filling out our medical history. About how important this information is for the doctor, to know what kind of medical issues have run in the family. How important it is to know if there is a history of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure, seizures or a whole spectrum of diseases. Each of these things give valuable insight into what issues I am facing…either today or in the future. They affect what is going on inside of me and how I might react to certain situations, medications, stresses or even foods. The more the doctor is able to know about my medical history the better they are able to care for me. Many times those hereditary issues are the key, those things passed on to us without us even being aware. It may have come from our parents directly, but it may have come from the generation before even them.

All of this is great, unless you don’t know your medical history. For many who are adopted this type of information is lost or simply not known. For many there have never been records kept of even the medical history of their life before adoption. For the orphan this history is a mystery and becomes a challenge as life progresses. It could easily become a frustration of being asked over and over…but always having to respond “I don’t know”. Sure, with lots of testing and money spent, a fragmented history can be pieced somewhat together…but there are still gaps, still questions. Much of life is navigated in darkness about their past.

Now continue with me…

It’s amazing how this same thing holds true with our spiritual life. We know our sins, our failures, our struggles. The daily battles we are familiar with. Some of these are directly related to the choices we have made in life…some are not. Where did these tendencies toward certain sins come from? Where did these battles start? The toll this takes on us through the daily mental, emotional and many times physical battles, it’s tough. But how do we find healing? Knowing our history is important. As we walk through the journey of healing, and victory, it is imperative that the past is exposed to the light. Nothing is hidden. Each stronghold is faced and addressed….but…

But what about the unknown? What about the generational sins or curses that have been passed on to us? It’s important that we face these and break these to protect our future generations. (At this point some of you have checked out. You don’t believe that there could actually be generational curses or sins. I ask you to study this for yourself) As we understand our “Spiritual History” which comes from the generations before us…the better we understand our current battles and struggles. Sins that have been hidden in the dark through time…these begin to give understanding as they come to light. It begins to make sense why we think, feel and react in certain ways. Once we know, we can fight for freedom and release. Recovery is closer.

BUT..again, as with the medical history….what about those who don’t know their past. They don’t know their parents, let alone the grandparents. The orphaned and adopted are again fighting a past given to them which they are unaware of. They fight the battles thinking the lies, which The Deceiver” is feeding to them, are actually the truth. They think that this is who they are and how God must have created them. They are fighting a battle in the dark…but who will fight for them? Who will step into the gap and help them? Who will speak life, truth and healing to them? Who will walk the journey to freedom and life with them? Jesus came to rescue the sinner. Jesus came to rescue our heart. Jesus came to give us freedom and life…Abundantly!

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly

(John 10:10 NKJV)

Over my next few posts I will be attempting to unpack elements of this further. How we can can fight for our heart, we can fight for freedom. How we can face, fight and break the generational sins and curses that have been passed to us…and our adopted children.

The journey to Amarillo was one of faith, and one that I have already shared my thoughts on over the past year, but now the dawn is beginning to break. I still don’t know the details and all of the pieces but the excitement is growing. The friends God has surrounded us with are incredible. The “dots” He is bringing together are interesting. Where it all is going, I don’t know….but I do know that I’m along for the ride…and it’s going to be great!

Yes, it is true that it is darkest just before the dawn…but only if the moon and starts are not  visible. Those celestial bodies created either to reflect the sun (Son) or burn bright like the sun (Son). When we get away from the lights of this world which mask or blur the night sky, we can begin to see well enough to function safely and even navigate our way in the darkness. As those bodies which blanket over us shine bright as they were created to…we have be comforted and encouraged to walk forward to the dawn coming our way.

The past months I have missed my time writing. I believe the dawn is beginning to break. The silence has been for a purpose, for there is a season for everything. The the question “what next and where”…this is a mystery of God. For now I am very happy and content with what He is doing. There is much more ahead, but the dawn is just breaking.

1 There is an occasion for everything,
and a time for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to give birth and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to uproot;
3 a time to kill and a time to heal;
a time to tear down and a time to build;
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance;
5 a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones;
a time to embrace and a time to avoid embracing;
6 a time to search and a time to count as lost;
a time to keep and a time to throw away;
7 a time to tear and a time to sew;
a time to be silent and a time to speak;

8 a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What does the worker gain from his struggles? 10 I have seen the task that God has given people to keep them occupied. 11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and enjoy the good life. 13 It is also the gift of God whenever anyone eats, drinks, and enjoys all his efforts. 14 I know that all God does will last forever; there is no adding to it or taking from it. God works so that people will be in awe of Him.

Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 from the Holman Christian Standard Bible